Do You Want to Rekindle and Restore, or Just Save Your Relationship?
There's perhaps little more frustrating and painful than constantly quarreling with – or, even worse, not even speaking with – the person who matters most... The person you've chosen to share your life with.
If most of your interactions with your spouse, partner, or significant other seem to end in disappointment, after a while you may just stop trying.
Fortunately, since you're reading this right now, it means you haven't given up hope. And that hope is a good sign... it means you still want and believe your relationship can be saved.
Well, let me tell you... It can. In fact, it can even be better than it's ever been... If your partner and you are willing to do the work!
Are You Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?
Quite often, people come to me for couples and marriage counseling with the belief that, if only they could change something about their partner, everything in their relationship would be right again. But this is anything but the way relationships work. And this belief may be a big part of the problem.
As discussed elsewhere on this website, we pick up most of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about how relationships and the world work in our own relationships when we're very young. Often when we're so young that we don't even remember these experiences consciously.
And, since these unhelpful patterns and beliefs were formed in previous relationships, we often act them out and replay them over and over again in all of our relationships as we go through life...
Over time, you'll likely find your partner becoming more and more unreasonable in two basic ways:
1. He or she will seem to get upset about and overreact to things you feel are minor, and
2. It will feel like he or she wants you to change who you are and do things that are don't feel like you.
Sound familiar?
While most of us are only too familiar with arguments and disagreements that revolve around money, sex, household chores, and the amount of time spent together versus apart, it often comes as a surprise that the underlying cause of such arguments and disagreements are not our partners, per se, but our own unmet childhood needs.
Accordingly, more often than not, you'll find you need to do your own work in the form of Individual Counseling and Psychotherapy BEFORE you can truly transform your relationship.
So, Why Couples and Marriage Counseling?
You need to learn to truly love yourself before you can love someone else.
But, this doesn't mean that couples and marriage counseling can't be tremendously helpful when it comes to healing your relationship and making it stronger, healthier, more fun, and more filled with love and joy than it's ever been!
In fact, it's because couples quite often trigger each other's previous relationship traumas and past wounds that they end up blaming each other for their own feelings.
Couples and marriage counseling can not only help your partner and you understand your trigger mechanisms but also give you the tools you need to recognize and effectively express yourself when they are triggered.
And the couples and marriage counseling services I offer can also help you communicate more effectively and provide a safe, contained space that allows you to be more vulnerable and intimate with each other so you can discuss your insecurities and fears and know your partner is really listening and that you're being truly heard and understood.
The good news is that, if both your partner and you are genuinely interested in making your relationship the best it can be... you can!
It's through relationships that we can heal and transform our lives. And it's through your relationship with your partner that you can learn to create a mutually vulnerable and loving relationship that makes life truly worth celebrating.
Don't wait until it's too late...
Couples often ask me when's the best time to seek couples or marriage counseling and I typically respond "six months ago." ;)
You can keep having the same arguments... Or you can keep passing by each other like ships in the night... Or you can decide your relationship and your life together deserve more and get the help you need.
Not much of a choice if you ask me...
So, pick up the phone or send me an email and contact me today at 650-417-3561 or at [email protected] to schedule a free, initial 20-minute phone consultation and learn more about how I can help you create the relationship you desire and deserve. I look forward to speaking with you and supporting you in any way I can.
There's perhaps little more frustrating and painful than constantly quarreling with – or, even worse, not even speaking with – the person who matters most... The person you've chosen to share your life with.
If most of your interactions with your spouse, partner, or significant other seem to end in disappointment, after a while you may just stop trying.
Fortunately, since you're reading this right now, it means you haven't given up hope. And that hope is a good sign... it means you still want and believe your relationship can be saved.
Well, let me tell you... It can. In fact, it can even be better than it's ever been... If your partner and you are willing to do the work!
Are You Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?
Quite often, people come to me for couples and marriage counseling with the belief that, if only they could change something about their partner, everything in their relationship would be right again. But this is anything but the way relationships work. And this belief may be a big part of the problem.
As discussed elsewhere on this website, we pick up most of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about how relationships and the world work in our own relationships when we're very young. Often when we're so young that we don't even remember these experiences consciously.
And, since these unhelpful patterns and beliefs were formed in previous relationships, we often act them out and replay them over and over again in all of our relationships as we go through life...
- You're likely choose a partner who gives you comfort, love, AND pushes your emotional buttons in ways that are familiar, at least on an unconscious level.
- You may find your partner incapable of giving you what you need most.
- And some of the qualities about him or her that most attracted you early in your relationship you later come to resent... Fun and adventurous starts to feel irresponsible while responsible and stable become boring.
Over time, you'll likely find your partner becoming more and more unreasonable in two basic ways:
1. He or she will seem to get upset about and overreact to things you feel are minor, and
2. It will feel like he or she wants you to change who you are and do things that are don't feel like you.
Sound familiar?
While most of us are only too familiar with arguments and disagreements that revolve around money, sex, household chores, and the amount of time spent together versus apart, it often comes as a surprise that the underlying cause of such arguments and disagreements are not our partners, per se, but our own unmet childhood needs.
Accordingly, more often than not, you'll find you need to do your own work in the form of Individual Counseling and Psychotherapy BEFORE you can truly transform your relationship.
So, Why Couples and Marriage Counseling?
You need to learn to truly love yourself before you can love someone else.
But, this doesn't mean that couples and marriage counseling can't be tremendously helpful when it comes to healing your relationship and making it stronger, healthier, more fun, and more filled with love and joy than it's ever been!
In fact, it's because couples quite often trigger each other's previous relationship traumas and past wounds that they end up blaming each other for their own feelings.
Couples and marriage counseling can not only help your partner and you understand your trigger mechanisms but also give you the tools you need to recognize and effectively express yourself when they are triggered.
And the couples and marriage counseling services I offer can also help you communicate more effectively and provide a safe, contained space that allows you to be more vulnerable and intimate with each other so you can discuss your insecurities and fears and know your partner is really listening and that you're being truly heard and understood.
The good news is that, if both your partner and you are genuinely interested in making your relationship the best it can be... you can!
It's through relationships that we can heal and transform our lives. And it's through your relationship with your partner that you can learn to create a mutually vulnerable and loving relationship that makes life truly worth celebrating.
Don't wait until it's too late...
Couples often ask me when's the best time to seek couples or marriage counseling and I typically respond "six months ago." ;)
You can keep having the same arguments... Or you can keep passing by each other like ships in the night... Or you can decide your relationship and your life together deserve more and get the help you need.
Not much of a choice if you ask me...
So, pick up the phone or send me an email and contact me today at 650-417-3561 or at [email protected] to schedule a free, initial 20-minute phone consultation and learn more about how I can help you create the relationship you desire and deserve. I look forward to speaking with you and supporting you in any way I can.
